Chiropteran Underground

Sunday, 23 2008f March, 2008

Beating the Jesus Nuts with a Wooden Spoon

Filed under: Daily life — Tags: , , , — chiroptera @ 8:32 am

Damn!  I forgot to eat a steak on Friday.

Since I’m on the subjects of food and religion, I just have to share this recipe.  A co-worker told me that this was received by email and was sent by somebody who was not sending it to be funny!  They really thought this was a great activity for parents and children:

 Resurrection Cookies

1 c whole pecans
1 t vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1 c sugar

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. (this in important – don’t wait until you are
halfway done with the recipe!)  Place pecans in a zipper bag and let
children beat them with a wooden spoon to break into small pieces.  Explain
that after Jesus was arrested he was beaten by the Roman soldiers.

Read John 19:1-3

Let each child smell the vinegar.  Put 1 vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain
that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink.

Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to vinegar.  Eggs represent life.  Explain that  Jesus gave
His life to give us life.

Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand.  Let them taste it and brush
the rest into the bowl.  Explain that this represents the salty tears shed
by Jesus’ followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.

Read Luke 23:27.

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing.  Add 1 sugar. Explain that
the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us He
wants us to know and belong to Him.

Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are
formed.  Explain that the color white represents the purity in God’s eyes of
those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.

Read Isa.1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts.  Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered ookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was

Read Matt. 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give
each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.Explain that Jesus’ tomb
was sealed.

Read Matt. 27:65-66.

GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven
overnight. Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.

Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the
cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow!  On the first
Easter Jesus’ followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.

Read Matt. 28:1-9.




  1. Ahhh… the indoctrination of children. Isn’t it wonderful?

    I definitely ate steak on Friday! Nice big porterhouse with black pepper and red wine sauce…

    Comment by crowlie — Sunday, 23 2008f March, 2008 @ 10:01 pm

  2. Please tell me this is a joke. Wow.

    Comment by Nina — Friday, 11 2008f April, 2008 @ 7:15 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: